Reality Check

It's crazy how reality can sometimes be a pain. I mean, here I am, supposedly so engulfed and trapped in Edward and Bella's unusual fairy tale (it's a Twilight thing), but everytime some memory of an unwanted episode of my reality kicks in, I get sucked back and all magic is lost. grrrr.

You'd think I might have lost a bit of my sanity if I prefer fiction over reality. But trust me (and the stability of my sanity), if you were in my place, you would've wanted the fictional stuff to remain as something you can just wonder about rather than have reality give you the answers hastily. Only for it to ruin everything and tarnish things you've always believed (and hoped) to be beautiful and even magical. It's like bluntly telling a child, so happy and excited, that Santa Clause does not exist -- on Christmas Eve.

Ugh. I so hate it. So much for a reality check. >:/

Christmas in my heart

Christmas is just around the corner. I've always loved this time of the year. The crisp, cold breeze, how the sun shines like it is morning sunshine the whole day,the rush, the bright lights, the Christmas parties, the gifts (both given and received),the Christmas tree, ham, hot chocolate and noche buena with my family.

This is the 1st year that we are celebrating without my kapatid -- my younger brother, Mak.He already went on board his first vessel and is about to dock at San Antonio, Chile in about 24 hours. I miss him of course. But despite his absence, our family still feels complete. Maybe because I am used to having one absent family member during special gatherings, with the nature of my Dad's job as well. Perhaps, it is also because I can see that my parents are happy and proud since their son -- the once prodigal child of theirs - is now on his way towards success.

My year has been very interesting. Contrary to my 2007, this year have been very light,filled with smiles, laughter, joy -- a few teardrops and stumbles every now and then, but still far more perfect than last year. Every moment was undoubtedly a blessing, every day, a miracle.I am especially thankful for the new relationship I have established with the Lord. Again, unlike last year, I think I grew closer to Him this year. I trusted in Him more, left things more under His control.Of course, there is still my occassional melt down, but I have to give myself credit for finding my way back much quicker -- although I have yet to go to confession. hehehe!

I have always loved my life -- despite the challenges, and struggles, but I can say that I have loved my life more this year. I don't know, maybe because, I think my eyes are much widely opened now than before. Allowing me to see clearly and optimistically through things -- realizing that everything happens for a reason -- God's reason. I hope this positive outlook, this tremendous love of life carry on to 2009, and the next year, and the next year and the next and the next -- until forever.

As I take a deep breath while writing my thoughts down, I feel a deep sense of peace, some inexplicable joy and an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

To all of you, my friends, guest readers (if any.hehehe!), my warmest greetings. May you have a truly blessed Christmas! Love life! =)

All I Want For Christmas ARE...=)

I have always wanted to post my wishlist, my birthday would've been the 1st great opportunity to do this, but for some reason, I was unable to do so. hehehe!

So now, habang sinisipag pa ako..at habang nka VL ako for the longest time,I am gonna grab this chance to let all my friends know (those who visit my blog at least) what I want for Christmas..para di na sila mahirapan..I'm sure I'm doing all of them a great deal of favor.hahahaha! Anyways, here goes.. (this doesn't come in any particular order by the way)

1. Olympus Stylus 850 SW digicam or Sony cybershot - ha! sa magbibigay nito...i'm all hugs and kisses for you!!!! you're the best! hahaha!

2. The following Twilight saga books (kasi nabili ko na yung 1st yung twilight...) -- hopefully mkukuha ko na to from my Fujitsu friends sa Dec 20..hahahah!

a. Breaking Dawn
b. New Moon
c. Eclipse

3. TopShop sweater without hood...color, black, brown or red..bsta wag mga sobrang bright colors. No big designs pls.(wag yung prang mga emo na sweater) Size: Medium.

4. External hard drive at least 120 GB.hehehehe! (Though di ko alam kung san ko to ggamitin at the moment.hehehehe!)

5. MSI Mini Notebook (Eto din..magbigay nito..pasasalamatan ko habang buhay hahahahahahha!)

6. GC sa kahit anu dito:

a. Charles and Keith
b. TopShop
c. Powerbooks
d. Relaksasi SPA
e. BlueMountain SPA

7. Shoe cabinet
8. Yung cap/hat stand or hanger...basta yung parang poste na sinasabitan ng mga caps or jackets..gagawin kong sabitan ng bags.hehehe!

9. Plane ticket to Singapore or Bora...na pwede ko na mkuha ngyong holiday. Di masyadong demanding.hehehehe!

10. Real-life version ni Edward Cullen..hahahahahahahahahah! Gud luck sa paghahanap.hehehe!

Love song for no one

Just another youtube craze I got from my brother.hehehe! The first song is something that I just find really amusing because of the lyrics. hehehe!

Title: Ta** I** Niya
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0d0_iaStO7k

The next two, are songs that would be something I can relate to...songs that I can say..Sakto sa akin --- DATI. I suggest you listen to the songs first before you read-on. =)

Title: Lihim
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ks-4tORkwA

Title: Ewan Ko
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUJN3dgD1Tw

Yep, not anymore. After my most recent (mis)encounter with Stupid Cupid, nagagandahan man ako sa mga kanta na ito..at gustuhin ko mang sabihin na sakto sa akin, eh wala-- blank..nada. As in! amazing nga eh.

Never felt like this before. I mean, before kasi, after akong pagtrip-an ni Cupido di niya pinapatagal eh binibiktima ulet ako. Pero ngayon?? naawa na ata...finally pinagpahinga ako.hehehe! I actually kind of like it. I actually feel liberated in a way. Kaya lang scary din,baka kasi..sintomas na to ng pagkaka dala ko. Baka di na ako umulet..ever -- ayoko din naman nun. Usually kasi madali akong madala, sa food, once matikman ko at di ko nagustuhan, blocklisted na yun for life! dito lang naman sa area na to ako di nadala-dala at nagpaulet ulet.hehehe! Yung latest lalo..worst! for a while I felt so -- sabi nga ni Lois Lane -- "Galactically stupid!" .. oh but well...naka recover na ko.hehehe!

So ayun..ayun lang. Medyo matagal tagal din akong walang entry, may 2 pang entries na in the pipeline actually..kaya lang mahaba haba...so to follow na lang.hehehe! Gusto ko lang din i-share yung songs. Nakakaaliw kasi..saka baka meron sa inyong mas "mag-benefit" =)

Sorry, links lang ah. Natatamad ako mag attach ng video eh.hehehe!

Ooops...I Did It Again

Confusion. Bliss. Confusion. Realization. Hurt. Frustration.
Such a vicious cycle -- I hope to escape.

Evolution of Dance

I was enjoying my net-surfing solitude when my brother came in and excitedly told me that there's a video he'd wanted to show me. I was so engrossed watching one of my favorite Baywatch (Season 1) episode in YouTube that I half-heartedly told him that I'll check it out after my Baywatch nostalgia. But he couldn't wait so I searched for "Evolution of Dance" in YouTube and got a listing of wedding dance videos. I was a bit annoyed, not only because my solitude was disrupted but because I couldn't see why on earth would I want to watch strangers' wedding dances. My mood would change later on though.hehehe!

This first video if from a certain Brian and a certain Katie's wedding. At the start, I kept asking myself, why am I watching this? what is so special about this? But as I watched, my reaction turned from "so what?" to "sooo cute! OMG!" with matching applause. ;)

The second one, and may I say, my favorite -- not only because the song they danced to is my favorite but also because of the couple's friends' special participation, which I think made it more special and so aaaaaayyyyyy-worthy.
Enjoy!



There. So in the end, I was really glad I checked the site out. I am even still trying to look up similar videos, especially those with the Dirty Dancing theme. The above are just two of the cutest and most romantic wedding dance videos. And I swear, gagayahin ko to sa kasal ko!!! .... Now...if I can only find my groom, I'll be all set.hehehehe! =D

Di Na Natuto

Toink! sabi ko na nga ba! bakit kasi ang tigas ng ulo ko. I knew it!
It was too good to be true. I should have learned my lesson, but apparently, I never learned. How could I have let it get into me?

Now, it's like de ja vu -- again. I said I will concede...the battle is not something I could win. Yet something pulled me back and I went on to fight and for awhile I really thought "this is it, I will win". But I was wrong. Now I need to retreat, badly wounded and scarred -- again. Darn it. I was so stupid to have gone out there so brave and bold not realizing that I was setting my own trap. Darn it -- again.

Just Something To Write

I want to write...
But what if there is nothing to write about?
No thoughts to share...
No stories to tell.

Just senseless words...
Thoughtless phrases...
What will I say?
I want to write.

Blank mind...
Empty soul...
To where will this go?
I had a start and a middle, now I need an end.

I want to write.
But this is all I have.
What do I write about?
Tell me, 'cause I want to write.

Barenaked

Embarassing. Excruciating. Liberating.

I Concede...

The blog entry below by my friend Marks pretty much summarizes my recent thoughts.

"Some battles aren’t meant to be won; other ideas should be left unspoken. Some beliefs should be kept under wraps, certain secrets should be hidden. In the thick of battle, when you’ve lost half your army , you need to make the call lick your wounds in retreat, or muster enough courage and face defeat?"

- MAS (1980 - 2007)

... I guess I'm calling it quits.

Pata Pata Pata Pon

I'm really not a big fan of psp, but this one got me hooked and chanting...
pata pata pata pon! pon pon patapon! =)

Dayuhan sa Sariling Bayan

Itong nakaraang linggo, sunod sunod na bisita ang dumating sa opisina namin, 2 tiga States, and 1 tiga UK. I had the chance to meet and mingle with them and in a sense be their unofficial Tourist Guide at least for the 2 Americans.hehehe!

At alam niyo ba kung anung na realize ko???
HINDI PA AKONG PWEDENG TOURIST GUIDE! hahahahahah!

Baket kamo? 1st day, they asked kung what would be the best souvenirs that they can bring home from the Philippines -- first time kasi pareho nung 2 Americans dito.Man, wala talaga akong maisip. Puro pagkain ang suggestions ko..Dried Mango -- actually..eto nga lang yata na suggest ko..hahahah! Tapos, naisip ko mga handicraft, saka yung sarong...pero hello...not much. So sabi ko, try nila punta sa MOA, may malaking store dun ng mga Philippine souvenirs. hehehe! Tapos, I took them to lunch at Max's, we ordered syempre yung chicken, tapos Pancit Canton, Sinigang na Hipon and halo halo. They said I was good with describing what each food is or has (Ha! nadala lang sa bilis ko magsalita.hehehe!). Pero kung di lang nila alam, sobrang nangamote ako sa pag iisip ng difference between Pancit Bihon at Pancit Canton (sinabi ko yung type ng noodles lang), at kung san nga ba nanggaling yung UBE (sabi ko from some root crop -- di ko maalala yung english ng Kamote! hahahah!) nung tinanong nila. At I had to explain yung Squid balls din pala..sus, nakita niyo sana yung expression nung guy na expat nung ni iisa isa ko yung ingredients ng Pancit canton at namention ko yung Squid balls. He was trying so hard not to react, but he couldn't help it. Kaya inunahan ko na.hehehehe!

Tapos, I was able to tell them about some of the most recommended places in Manila and the Philippines itself to go to, especially the beaches. I told them, Boracay, Palawan, Bohol, Cebu at Davao. But when they asked kung napuntahan ko na daw ba...buti na lang..out of the 5, Boracay napuntahan ko na..hahaha! Kung hindi, kakahiya naman di ba, nagrecommend ako ng place na ako mismo di ko pa napupuntahan..hahaha! amazing talaga.hehehe! Sana nitanong na lang nila ako kung ilang islands meron ang Pilipinas, para nasabi ko.."High Tide or Low Tide?" hehehe!!

Then came the 2nd day, I only had lunch with one of the expats, together with 2 of my colleagues from our Manila office. We took her to a grill something restaurant na 1st time ko pa ding mapupuntahan. When our food came -- parang 2 set ng fiesta meals yata yun yung tipong halo halo, madaming ulam tapos may kanin, na nasa dahon ng saging, ang dami kong di kinakain dahil sa either allergic ako, or talagang di lang ako kumakain nun talaga.hehehe! Shucks, eh bago pa naman kumain yung expat, nititignan niya muna ako, or kami kung panu namin kakainin. Like yung kare-kare with bagoong...I don't normally eat bagoong, so talagang kare kare lang. Or yung manggang hilaw...Di ko talaga gusto yung manggang hilaw with bagoong, bihirang bihira akong kumakain nyan. Pero para naman maipakita ko sa knya, twice akong kumain nung mangga slices with bagoong na sobrang asim...talaga...buti na lang..in fairness masarap yung bagoong..so medyo I was able to enjoy it na rin. Pero yung isang fish, Tanigue..di talaga pde...maryosep, allergic ako dun.

Mas marami pa yata akong piniling di kainin kesa sa kanya. Saka nung natikman ko na masarap yung bagoong, mas ako pa yung may reaction na "Mmmmn, this is good, I like it." heheheheh!

Tapos, on the 3rd day, I had to drop them off at Shangri-La Makati. While we were in the cab, they asked me about the jeepneys, the tricycles and Filipino past times-- ha! kung may score yun? I would say I got a 110% sa mga sagot ko..hehehehe! Pero, nung nitanong nila ako ng "Where does your electricity come from?" ang sagot ko??!!

"MERALCO" hahahahahahahahhaha! I mean..syempre di ko naman sinabing Meralco lang. I gave an explanation of course. I told them, "we have this one company that supplies the electricity called Meralco" pero alam mo yun, I couldn't explain where we actually get the electricity. I mean, I know malamang galing sa isang planta or something, pero the system of how it works?? I do not know.hehehe! Sana man lang alam ko iexplain kung panu na susupply di ba para man lang ma naging interesting.hehehe! Tapos, may follow-up question pa..hehehe! they said "You guys have your own oil and gasoline reserves right?" -- Napaisip ako, meron nga ba? Tapos, naisip ko...kung meron kami nun, malamang mayaman na Pilipinas, eh medyo di pa tayo ganun kayaman, kaya sinabi ko..."No, we import them from Saudi Arabia" --- SAUDI ARABIA???!!!! I was thinking Middle East, pero Saudi ang nsabi ko..amazing. Maryosep, baket ba ako absent nung nagturo ng Philippine History, Economics, at Geography. So nag change topic na ako, nikuwento ko na lang yung dispute sa Spratley Island.

Finally on the 4th day, we had lunch at the Old Spaghetti House, so it's a relief since there was no need for any explanations and they won't have to wait and watch for us to show them how to eat the food. But we talked about balot, habang niloloko sila nung 2 kong kasama na papatry sa kanila yung balot, ako tahimik lang, kasi..ako mismo, di ko din kaya kainin yung lahat lahat sa balot.hehehe! Tapos eto na, dinner at Masas. As usual, explain, explain, at naulet na naman yung day 2 lunch scenario.hehehe! May manggang hilaw at bagoong na naman, at meron na namang fish na di ko kayang kainin.hehehehe! Pero again, yung manggang hilaw, nag paunlak ako at kumain ulet ng isang slice with bagoong para maipakita ko ulet sa kanila. hehehe!

So yun, after everything, I just realized na medyo madami dami pa din pala akong dapat malaman, mapuntahan at matikman dito sa Pilipinas, para naman mas maging effective akong tourist guide.hehehe! I mean, I am used to dealing and communicating with foreigners, may kachikahan na akong tiga-England when I was only 7 or 8 years old and I have an American uncle (my aunt's hubby), pero iba pala pag ang kwentuhan ay tungkol sa bansa mo na.hehehe! Medyo kelangan ko ng review para naman wag akong magmukhang dayuhan sa sarili kong bayan. amazing no.hehehe!

Clay paint, Ballroom dance, Valentines atbp.

Tapos na ulet ang 1 week. So musta naman
ang naging linggo ko? Ayos naman...masaya.

Nung nakaraang sabado at linggo, nag clay paint ako.ito ang latest hobby ko. I'm now on my 5th work of art.hehehe! Isang XL sized board with a picture of the sun, some flowers and a butterfly -- lahat sila with smiling faces.hehehe! Minsan I'll post some pictures. Ganun yung mga niccclay paint kong designs, puro may smiling faces, puro colorful. Plano kong gawing ala "Wall of Fame" yung isang section sa aking bedroom na color yellow-orange-ish na ngayon...para mas happy color.hehehe!

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Nag-enroll pala ulet ako sa Ballroom dancing class na sponsored ng company. Advanced class naman this time.hehehe! The class runs every Mondays and Fridays for 2 hrs hangang Feb 18. So far we've covered, Salsa, Swing, Jive, Samba at Cha-cha. Ang saya! nkakatuwa...well nakakagulat minsan, dahil dun sa mga "advanced" steps..like the dip, at yung mga sunod sunod na full turns..hehehe! Buti na lang magagaling yung mga nakakapartner ko at wala pa naman nakabitaw, or nakalaglag sa akin.hahahah! Pero sa lahat lahat..ang naging favorite ko ay ang Samba..hehehe! Kasi yun lang yung na peperfect ko..hahahaha! Parang gusto ko na nga ito career-rin. Gusto ko mag enroll ulet or kumuha ng iba pang class talaga. Gusto ko din bumili ng totoong dancing shoes. Kaya lang grabe not lower than P2500 yung presyo. Aba, eh kung bibili ako nun, kelangan masigurado ko munang i-cacareer ko nga ito.hehehe! sayang nga lang at last session na sa Monday eh. Rhumba yun malamang -- the dance of love, sabi ng isa kong office and dance-mate. hehehe! Actually, kahapon yun dapat eh, kaso, di ko alam kung natuloy dahil sa rally at di din naman ako nakapunta dahil well, basahin niyo na lang yung kasunod na kwento. Anyway...so yun naisip ko nung isang araw, baka panu kaya kung seryosohin ko talaga ito, at gawin kong bagong career??? Occupation: Senior Software Engineer by day, Professional/Competitive Ballroom Dancer by night. Hehehehe!

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Last week, was the final week for the Mr. and Ms. Valentine's voting contest sa project namin. It's actually a fund-raising activity for the benefit of Food for Hungry Minds. Just to give you an idea, eto ang mechanics nito. Mag ppledge ang mga tao for a certain girl/guy na gusto nila masama sa Dating Game. Every pledge amounts to P10. The girl/guy who gets the highest paid pledge, will be the Searcher and the next 3 highest, ay magiging mga searchees. To make the long story short, ako ang nanalong searcher! all because of my teammates' unwavering support and effort para makahanap ng boboto sa akin.hahaha! According to them, they are just "helping" me. You wouldn't believe the things they did to ensure na ako ang Ms. Valentines. grabe.hehe! The Dating Game was held yesterday, Feb 15. The actual "date" took place last night din at La Grotta Restaurant at Rufino st. The food was great and the ambience was likewise impeccable. Yun, yun ang dahilan kung bakit di ako naka attend ng ballroom class kahapon. hehehe! sana nga lang di na natuloy kasi may rally naman sa Ayala, para di ko na miss yung Rhumba.hehehe!

So those are my adventures for last week. Ah, at napanuod ko din pala yung BFGF - latest movie ni Richard Guttierrez..ang funny! nakakaaliw. hehehe!

So yun, I can't wait to see what next week will bring. hehehe!
But for now, I'll savor my weekend muna!! =D

Lucky Me

True friends are few and are very hard to find. I am lucky I got hold of some of the rarest gems.=) Friends who have been with me through thick and thin. Friends who have always been there for me. =)
Somehow, I feel this song quite accurately summarizes the kind of friendship we have, like it's our theme song.=) Actually it's more of their song for me. Well except for the line that says "your job's a joke".=D

Smitten

It's funny how one moment, one very ordinary moment can suddenly and unexpectedly turn your world upside down. One look, one conversation, one meal together, one dance. Sometimes, it takes just one to send you swirling into bliss. Suddenly, you can't wipe that silly smile off your face, you start counting the days and your stomach's invaded by thousands of fluttering butterflies. And when you ask yourself, why did I not notice this before? or just the simple question why? you can't find the answer. It's really just the moment -- the culprit is that one moment. Don't let me explain further, it's inexplicable. I, too am baffled. Just know, there is something that there wasn't there before.

Sigh...

Ilang araw na lang, isang taon na.
Ang bilis lang ng panahon. Parang
nung isang buwan lang yon.

Nakaka miss talaga.
Parang kelan lang, nakausap ko pa.
Call, text at YM. Parang kelan lang,
nakasama ko pa.

Parang ang hirap pa rin paniwalaan.
Kahit halos isang taon na ang nakaraan.
Ang bilis ng mga pangyayari.
Di ko talaga akalain.

Isang taon na ang halos nakalipas.
Pero nalulungkot pa din ako.
Oo, mas maayos na ako ngayon.
Pero madalas ko pa ding sabihin, "Sana
nandito ka pa rin".

Hospital Etc.

From December 23rd to January 3rd, our official residence for the Holidays has been room 426 of the Metropolitan Hospital and below is a collection of random hospital thoughts and observations. hehehe!

**********************************

Aside from being able to save people's lives and helping sick people get well, I was recently amazed by one other special skill of the Medical staff. Do you know that they are able to change the bedsheet without the patient ever having to stand up? I mean wow. That's something right?

I mean, my dad just got out of surgery and was still high with anaesthesia so he couldn't stand nor sit up. His bedsheet had to be changed because it was drenched with urine when the doctors were fixing something on his catheter. I was already trying to figure out how it could be done and was a bit worried since I knew that my dad would be unable to get off from the bed. But voila!! this medical personnel came in, and did the change effortlessly...
WITH MY DAD STILL LYING ON THE BED and without causing him any discomfort. Amazing!!

Here are the steps on how it was done. (I tried to describe it as accurate
as I can..hehe!)

1. The sections of the sheet on the left side and my dad's feet were untucked.

2. The staff then gathered the sections from the left side and gently tucked
them under my dad's back.

3. Then she took the new sheet, tucked the sections under the left side of the
mattress then gathered the remaining sections and slipped it under my dad's back
as well.

4. When the remaining sections of the new sheet reached that of the old she
asked my dad to gently lift his back up so she could fully slip the new and
the old sheet towards the right side of the mattress.

5. She was then able to remove the old sheet from the right side and tuck the
remaining sections of the new sheet under the mattress.

Lupet! =D

**********************************

As far as I know, caring is not synonymous to nagging.
However, in the past few days I'm beginning to get confused. I'm not sure if it's the hospital walls, the lack of sleep,or simply the unusual holiday get-away,
but I think I'm getting a bit cranky.

The constant and repeated reminders are starting to sound so irritating that the intent behind them are already beginning to be blurry to me.

I must've caught some virus or something.

**********************************

There we go again....I don't know what I'm hating more.
The nagging or myself. Damn.

**********************************

Everyday, our room is visited by 4 groups of people:

1. The Medical staff (nurses, doctors, interns)

2. The Kuya(s) who deliver my dad's food -- that either I or my mom eat on
his behalf cause my dad is not allowed to eat nor drink yet. hehehe!

3. Friends, relatives and my dad's colleagues

4. And Housekeeping -- the people who amusingly freezes in the middle
of their sweeping and mopping to watch tv. =)

**********************************

Episode 1:

Mr. Visitor: San nag nagwowork yung anak mo ngayon Capt?
Daddy: Sa Accenture, Senior Software Engineer siya.
Mr. Visitor: Ahhh..Call Center.
Ako: Ah, hindi po. Bale po part lang ng business nila ay Call Center pero
yung primary business po ay IT, Application Development and Consulting po.
Mr. Visitor: Ahhh..

Episode 2:

Mr. Nurse: Ma'am san po kayo nagwowork?
Ako: Sa Accenture.
Mr. Nurse: Ah sa Call Center.
Ako: See response in Episode 1.
Mr. Nurse: Ahhh..kaya pala. (Kung kaya pala ano ay wag niyo ako tanungin..
ksi di ko din na gets.hehehe!)

Notice any similarity? hehehe! Napaka handy talaga ng script ko.hehehe!
Napakahabang paliwanagan.